Faith & Excellence

Post 18

Good evening friends! I’ve had a slight awakening and I want to share! I mentioned that I have been having quite the self isolation thing going on lately. I’m not sure what is happening or going on but tonight I had a little revelation. What if… I’m cocooning? Upon having this thought I wanted to understand more about them… this is what I found:

“Cocoons are fascinating structures that provide shelter, warmth, and camouflage during a vulnerable time in an animal’s life. It’s not just caterpillars that form cocoons, with other insects such as ants and praying mantis also taking advantage of this design. It certainly sounds like a cosy way to spend your time, hidden away inside a bed of silk. “ by Katie Piercy “How Do Caterpillars Make A Cocoon”

Wow. How wonderful a thought!? I am being protected during the most vulnerable time in my life! Inside a bed of silk! Its actually been my feather bed but it is cozy too. I looked this up after I wrote about the cocoon thing. Im coming back now to add how comforting it was to read that. Where in the world this idea came from…?! Without a doubt, it didn’t come from the world.

What if… I’m wrapping myself up so tightly that I can only grow by looking within and to Him? That I am in a sense removing outside influence? What if… when I finally can emerge, I will have found something I didn’t know I had? In a way… that is exciting! Isn’t it? To stand on a precipice with no holds barred~ the only limits would be within myself. I am at the half century mark in age. Do you know that a lot of successful people did so in their 50’s & 60’s? Yea well… I read that on the INTERNETS the other day so it must be true. Well, here’s a list for you: Colonel Sanders🐓, Ray Croc🍔 (McDonalds), Laura Ingalls Wilder🏡, HENRY FORD! 🚙 Wait…J U D G E J U D Y🔨, Charles chuck DARWIN😧🐟 , the guy that made Famous Amos Cookies 🍪-his name was Wally Amos & some dude named Picasso 😉🎨🖌. I’d like to add my friend Wild Bill Herron to this list… he’ll be notable one day if nowhere but Kingston, Michigan. He certainly should be included on a list with the Colonel. He’s definitely a legend in his own mind right now🍕🍻😉 but seriously. Have you been to Beagios? So there’s a few recognizable names. But I felt something like a tickle in my heart trying to put my mind to new uses tonight talking with my kid.

So being at the mid-century mark is quite the milestone, right? Boy fifty used to be ancient. Thank goodness our culture has evolved enough that Gen X’s don’t seem so old as they used to…lol! I mean, WE still think we’re cool. The crazy thing is I don’t recognize myself as what I had always envisioned this age to look like. I still have the mentality that I did when I was younger in the aspect of life possibilities. The sky’s the limit. The world is my canvas. Shoot for the stars. You know what the biggest difference is from 20 to now aside from the obvious thirty years? The idea that maybe I could do it at 20 to I can do anything I set my mind to at 50. So~attitude. Outlook. Mindset. “Attitude is everything” is a quote that has been used a million times in a million different ways. I found this pearl today and I actually love it.

“Excellence is not a skill, it’s an attitude.” Ralph Marston

How much our attitude affects our life is a key I believe. I know this. I KNOW this. Rising above this sadness is sooooo hard right now. But…………. there is a season for everything. I am trying desperately to rush this season. I want this season to hurry. We can wish winter away all year long but it will still come and we will still suffer through until warmer days. Every year. I cannot wish this pain away. But hopefully I can accept this cocoon. That’s an interesting concept— wonder if a Caterpillar knows she’s going to emerge differently when she cocoons? Don’t you feel like nature just has that innate gift of knowledge because they aren’t bad? But… they’re animals and such… they don’t have knowledge do they? Maybe God whispers to them since they’re special. There I go again… ‘she’s talking crazy’. But really. I cannot unchange the chaos and turmoil happening throughout my whole self right now. I cannot undo the shaking of my actual snow globe. I can accept the realities of them, however. I can succumb to the season and allow His will be done. I feel that some of the hurt comes from unnecessary expectations I am constantly placing on myself. There are so many things yet to learn. About life. About God. About myself. How arrogant am I to believe that I- or- anyone has this all figured out! We are children stamping our feet to get our way when perhaps there is higher learning to be recieved here. We never passed a class by getting our way, did we? We would never have studied or taken a test and especially we would’ve never done homework. So as I try to give this message-I am really just thinking outloud to myself. Trying to help myself understand that this is a process. And it is ok to feel the warmth of this cocoon. Something is happening inside. I have no idea what it is yet. I am not meant to know yet. I am meant to… mend. I am meant to heal properly. I am meant…for this season of my life. For God to protect me while I’m vulnerable. “God will not place on you more than you can handle” TDW. The only timeline I exist on is my own. The one He can see before me. Faith. Faith has always been a big part of my… Story. I don’t think I’ve been listening much to my own story. Surely the Caterpillar has some sort of faith as it enters its strange tomb? Surely it must have a sense that this is not the end? Faith & attitude. Grace & grit. Summer & winter.

I have been waiting for something. Maybe this was a small gift of understanding for the ‘homework’ of patience with myself I’ve been learning. Not by my own volition. This cannot be for not. I cannot think that my Father would allow that. Faith. There’s a lot to learn and much humility to practice. So………………………. I’ll just be over here honing my “skills“🙂. 🐛In my cocoon.🦋

Thank you for checking in on me. May peace and excellence be with you today. With love, JHW+